have a plan

Living unconsciously (that is, without an explicit plan or road map) can be an okay thing.  Throughout my undergraduate career I drifted a lot, studying what was interesting and picking up a few accidental degrees.  I did what I felt like doing, and didn't think overly much about where I was going or what came next.

By and large, this worked out just fine; I've got a fantastic husband, several bachelor's degrees, a heck of a lot of experience performing on stage, and a wonderful circle of friends.

The downside is that the hakuna matata approach was applied to my finances as well.  I got a credit card, and then signed up for another one when I was at a conference and they were offering a spiffy-looking duffel bag if you filled out an application.  My parents continued to support me for a few years into college, and I generally spent everything I had.  Oh, my upbringing led me to be generally frugal and I didn't spend lavishly or anything, but I didn't really think about saving and didn't worry too much about carrying credit balances.  I lived beyond my poor-college-student means.  But I'd pay it later.  No worries!

Fortunately I went to an exceptionally inexpensive university, so my debt is a microdrop in the bucket compared to those who had to finance, say, law school.   However, debt is still debt, and it's still an albatross around one's neck.  Making a good salary but seeing such a large portion of it going to fund my past self is rather dissatisfying.  Think about what I could be doing with that money now!  I could be making our emergency fund so comfy that we really don't have to worry about it.  I could be saving up for trips overseas.  I could be throwing awesome parties for my friends.

Now I have a plan. 

My plan, as I've written about before, has several steps.  Fundamentally, it's the snowball method.

1. Stop putting anything on credit cards.  No really.  Even if you're going to pay it off right away.  You got yourself in this situation, so you obviously cannot be trusted.  Put down the plastic.  Credit balance only gets to shrink from here on out.  
2. Prioritize debts to pay off.  I chose the smallest-balance-first method because it provides small victories sooner in the process, though as it turned out in my case highest-interest-first would have resulted in the same prioritization.  
3. Budget a total amount of monthly cash for debt repayment.  For me, this is around 40% of my income, and that seems to be sustainable in my current life situation. 
4. Make minimum payments on all but the highest priority debt.  Throw the remainder at that high-priority albatross.  
5. When one debt gets paid off, throw a party!  Your snowball is now bigger.  All the money that was going to the debt you're now free of can now be assigned to the second-highest-priority debt. 
6. Throw snowflakes at the process when you can, but don't go overboard.  Even if it's for a good cause (getting out of debt), violating the master equation isn't very nice.
7. Rinse, repeat.

If you're a total nerd like me, a complicated spreadsheet can help, because it forces you to put all your numbers in one place (no hiding!).  It's also fun because you can adjust your monthly debt budget and it'll show you both how much sooner you'll achieve debt freedom and how much less interest you'll wind up paying.  Admitting you have a problem really is the first step.  Look at that total number.  Now look at how much interest you'll pay just for the privilege of owing money.  Notice that it sucks.  Now make a plan!

Bonus points if you can stay out of debt after achieving freedom.  But that's a future mission, and is beyond the scope of my project right now.  


At this rate, I'll be completely debt-free in December of 2013.  Sooner, if I can scrape together more snowflakes.  Here's to freedom!

today I love...

...how this lost budgie found its way home.

There are hidden benefits to pets that can talk!

april financial retrospective

Another month, another financial retrospective.  This month we see the recurrence of the lovely purple pie slice of savings.  It's small, but it's there.  I certainly can't be always expecting windfalls like last month's extra paycheck!  In any case, this is a sign that things are going well, and I'm not violating the master equation.  As long as I practice sufficient conscious spending and keep my debt 'expenditures' down to the base snowball amount, it appears that I can allow myself a few small splurges.  It seems like a good balance.

This month involves a rather large number in the 'household' category.  This has a few reasons, most notably our large six-month anniversary party.  The bouncy house was affordable but not cheap (and certainly more than worth it for the experience of getting to play in one as a grown-up), and I racked up some charges buying party supplies.  Admittedly, I seem to have overestimated the need, despite the very large list of attendees, so we will now have paper plates and plastic cutlery until the heat-death of the universe.  Warehouse stores can be tricky propositions.  

Additionally, due to my newfound financial stability (not attributed to me being sensible or anything, but rather to disallowing extra enthusiasm-fueled debt payments), I was finally able to contribute to our joint account for the first time in a while.  That account is used to pay bills and such, and also houses our emergency fund.  We like to keep its balance relatively steady over time, but it's been dropping a bit lately.  Happily, that corresponds with me getting my affairs more in order, so it should be a trivial problem to correct.  I do hate being a drain on our finances, so I'm very happy that I can resume being a contributing member of our little household economic society.  Feeling competent and useful is definitely one of the benefits of being financially responsible. 

Also, I seem to have spent about $50 more than usual on fuel this month.  I've no idea why.  Perhaps I drove to work a few more times than usual instead of taking the vanpool.  Though gas prices are always climbing, I don't think they've jumped quite enough in merely a month to justify the marked increase in fuel expenses.

I have a line item in my budget spreadsheet labeled 'fudge factor.'  I use this to make up the difference between my tracked spending and the actual balance in my checking account at the end of the month.  Usually I misplace (forget to record) a bit, and that makes the numbers line up, as well as reminding me that I need to get better at tracking everything.  Weirdly, this month the fudge factor was negative, meaning that I wound up with more money than expected.  I haven't spotted any spending that has yet to post to the account.  If I get to it, I may go through and actually track the balance through to try to find the discrepancy, but for now I'm baffled.   Some of the strangest artifacts show up in this process at times.

I did splurge a little bit on myself this month, in that a good friend and I went on a thrift-shopping date and I picked up a pile of clothes.  Not too much was spent, and I was extremely picky so everything purchased not only was a 'good deal' but fits well, looks good on me, and goes with my overall style.  Yes, it seems a bit weird to be adding clothes to the situation right when one is on a crusade to reduce quantity of clothing and create a more curated wardrobe, but on some level it makes sense.  I don't go shopping very often at all, and as a consequence my wardrobe has not notably evolved much in the past decade.  My personal style, however, has definitely changed in that time.  I also must admit that my body has undergone a few changes as well.  Consequently, much of what I already have is ill-fitting and/or simply uninteresting. 

Fashion trends aren't particularly relevant, because the style I seem to be working toward is more 1940's professional (in this month's haul were several gorgeous pencil skirts that make me feel fabulous) than whatever is 'hot' right now (I found a pair of Converse high-tops that were made to be folded down to show off the pink plaid lining.  There were even eyelets in the tongue to make sure that it stayed firmly in place folded down over the laces.  This is a thing?).  However, this is still a significant departure from my jeans-and-tank-top wearing teen and college years, so my closet does need input as well as output if it is to evolve into a lovely, appropriate, small collection that I feel great in.  It's difficult to get rid of a piece you may not like if you've nothing to replace its function with.  So it's my hope that adding really high-quality pieces I actually like and will wear will free up some of my mental blocks on getting rid of older things.

Or perhaps I just like shopping and am trying to rationalize.  What do you think?

To return to the financial picture being painted, overall April went quite well.  I contributed to our joint fund, splurged on a fantastic party and fabulous clothes, and still showed a net savings.  I call that a win!

today I love...

...honest discussions about gender politics, as with this amazingly well-written and empowering letter and the comments upon it.  The Internet is an amazing place, and it's full of both thoughtful, insightful people who know how to be civil to one another and insecure jackasses who need to insult each other with every remark for no apparent reason.  It's so nice when the former group can get together and have a real conversation!

To be more on-topic, it's always bothered me profoundly when people use the terms 'girly' or 'gay' to be insults.  A casual 'what a pussy' or 'that's gay' is both incredibly denigrating to a huge proportion of the population and usually completely irrelevant to the topic at hand.  I've heard people call each other gay for the silliest things, like messing up in a game or being late to an event.  What on the green hills of earth does sexual orientation have to do with punctuality?  I was once called a slut for standing in the way in a hallway.  The irrelevancy just about caused my head to explode with confusion even as I was reeling from the shock of the strength of the insult.  What's the point here?

Okay, okay, I know about the male need to verbally bash the bajeezus out of each other in order to show affection.  I don't have to understand it, but I get that it's a thing.  However, there's a difference between calling someone an incompetent jerk (which might be at least subjectively true based on immediate evidence) and using an incredibly personal insult that has nothing to do with what's going on, may or may not be true, and at best denigrates an entire sector of humanity to everyone in earshot.  Associating unacceptable or 'inferior' behavior with being a 'jerk' (or insert your favorite relevant insult here) is one thing (jerk being a descriptor that is defined by such behavior), but associating that unacceptable or 'inferior' behavior with being a 'girl' or a 'fag' is quite another.  What message does that send to any girls who might overhear you?  That they're automatically inferior, and it's a bad thing for anyone to be lowered to their level.  What message does that send to straight men in the room?  That they'd better be afraid of having any 'feminine' qualities.  What message does that send to your friend who hasn't yet quite worked up the courage to tell his buds that he might be gay?  That he's bad, wrong, inferior, and should shut up. 

Even if you make the case that the terms have become divorced from their original meanings in the head of the person using them and are generic insults completely devoid of gender-related or sexual meaning, what excuse is that?  Oh, because it's an unthinking propagation of destructive stereotypes it's okay?  Words have power, whether you're bothering to think about it or not.  

\end{rant}

Wow, that apparently touched a nerve.  I didn't intend to do quite that much ranting on the topic!  Moving on.

Taken from the comments of the above letter:

As soon as children learn that gender roles vary by culture, they can start thinking about what sort of culture they want to see when they’re adults. And that, historically, is how social revolution begins.

Hear hear!  For even more perspective, dig this take on historical gender perceptions!  From that article:

The more research we do, the more it seems like the only behavior consistently considered normal is the tendency to be way too strict about what normal behavior actually is -- and then being really shitty to the people who don't conform.

Pink used to be considered to be infinitely more manly than blue, and the danger of dressing your baby androgynously is that it might grow up to be the president of the united states.  Cultural biases are not only localized in space, but in time.  It's all remarkably arbitrary, which makes it even more ridiculous how fervently people will cling to the discrimination fads of the moment.  

And here's my favorite definition from the comments to the open letter linked above: 

Homophobia: The fear that gay men will treat you how you treat women.

...explains a lot, doesn't it?

Ultimately, boys are better at peeing standing up, and girls can grow new humans.  Other than that, we're pretty much people.  Aside from the Grand Unifying Theory of Gender Relations, of course. 

Let's teach the next generation a little civility and acceptance, shall we?

bears, and a dresser top

As part of my mission to declutter, I'm purging things I have sentimental but useless attachments to. 

Slick

  
Meet Slick.   Slick was given to me by a very good friend when I was 11 or so.  He's named slick because he is made of a very slippery fabric.  I love ya, B, but I don't need the bear in order to remember that. 

floppy bear is floppy

As for this bear... he doesn't really qualify as a sentimental item because I honestly have no idea why I have him.  Because he's floppy and fuzzy?  My quota for stuffed animals is much lower now than it was ten years ago, and most of that is filled by my flying monkey, my Lil' Richard (squee!), and my maille-wearing, butter-knife-weilding SCA bear.  This guy gets to go on an adventure with Slick to a fabulous new home.

Fortunately, I happen to know several 9-ish year old girls who will appreciate these guys.  So they'll get passed on to the next generation at my next opportunity. 

This ends the highlights of the clearing-off-the-ridiculously-cluttered-dresser project.
Before:

messy, cluttered dresser top

And after:

clearer, easier-to-dust dresser top

Ah!  Much better!  Mr. Geek quite literally gaped when he saw what I'd done to this previously super-cluttered area.  I figure that's a reaction to be proud of.  Now to find another corner to tackle...

wednesday love

Today I love this blog that I found through the blog equivalent of Wikipedia Effect the other day. 

From small tips on simplifying to dealing with a spouse's clutter without starting World War III to succinct guidelines on decluttering in general, Rachel of Small Notebook for a Simple Home is a fantastic resource on any decluttering journey.

She especially has a lot of fantastic advice on achieving a small, stylish, easy to deal with wardrobe, which is one of my overarching goals for myself.   I need to mount a major offensive on my overstuffed closet one of these days.  I own an incredible quantity of clothing but find that the same few pieces wind up in the laundry every week, while the rest just sits there.  What's the point of that? 

Wouldn't it be great if we only had to purchase, clean, maintain, and look at our very favorite things?

Ultimately, getting organized is not the goal.  Simplifying is not the goal.  The point of going to the effort to declutter and create more free space is just that, to create freedom.  The freedom for experiences and travel instead of stuff.  The freedom to move across the country if needed without having a panic attack about packing all your tchochkes.  The freedom to focus more on the important people and ideas in life. 

Also, I love my cast iron pan.  I got it at a yard sale, and the clueless yuppies who just wanted this chunk of metal gone after cleaning out their grandmother's attic sold it to me for $5.  Best $5 I've ever spent.  I've discovered through setting up camp kitchens that I can cook almost anything if I have my trusty cast iron, a teakettle, and my Le Creuset dutch oven.  It kind of makes that huge stack of frying pans that barely fits in the kitchen cabinet seem just a trifle superfluous...

belated march financial retrospective

I've been tragically derelict in my blog-writing duties of late.  So here is my much belated financial retrospective for March. 

In terms of expenses this month, the most notable things were tickets to two separate food festivals (and associated purchases), and quite a lot of money going toward a big camping event in Arizona.  Mr. Geek and I both play in the SCA, a group of silly history buffs who dress up in medieval clothes and hit each other with sticks.  March saw the second largest SCA event in the country, and so there are tickets, travel expenses, and gear for my camp kitchen on my spreadsheet.  Fun, but pricey.  But sometimes fun is worth it.  Frugality means not spending in some areas so that you have the ability to spend on the things you actually care about.  It's a good goal.

How am I doing on my mission to curtail food spending?  Not so hot.  March's 'grocery' entry is the largest of this year, but part of that was due to feeding several people out of my camp kitchen for a long weekend.  They did help offset the cost, though.  I fear that I must devise more active methods of reducing the grocery budget, for the simple 'try to spend less' approach seems to not be working. 

This month we see the glorious arrival of a fifth, purple pie slice in the chart, one marked 'savings,' thus indicating that for once I did not violate the master equation.  For my documentation purposes, 'savings' is defined as the difference between income and expenditures.  While this situation was largely established due to luck rather than discipline, I'll take what I can get.

In my mission to re-build my checking account cushion I failed miserably right up until the end of the month.  Despite my best efforts (and not overpaying on debts past my allotted snowball, no matter how much I wanted to), there I wound up, back at the same not terribly sizable balance.  Fortunatly, March has a bonus pay period in it.  Yes, it still means that the money from that paycheck must cover two weeks of groceries and fuel and the like, but it is effectively exempt from monthly expenses such as credit cards, car payments, and my membership in my commuting vanpool.  This left me with more money than expected at the very end of the month.  So while I can't attribute this month's success to any victory in personal planning and I didn't get to use my bonus paycheck for anything particularly interesting as suggested in the article linked at the beginning of this paragraph, I have technically succeeded at this month's mission to re-establish my cushion.  Huzzah!

people are weird

Today, in addition to the usual complement of discarded soda cans, sports drink bottles, and plastic grocery bags wound determinedly around cacti, I came across some more unusual discarded items on my walk.  Namely, a seat belt from a car, various pieces of drywall, a lone sneaker, and a big piece of twisted sheet metal.  I left the sheet metal where it was, for lack of any better ideas.  


Why any of that wound up along a random trail, I'll never know.  People are weird. 


I also found two golf balls, and those I kept.  They'll be put to good use for self-foot-massagey-acupressure purposes.


In other news, it's an obnoxiously beautiful day today.  Happy Thursday!

today I love...

...this exquisite summary of social dance culture.  It's partially a tutorial in etiquette, a topic that I happen to find fascinating and quite diverting, but that some feel is rather dry.  More importantly, it seeks to define the more elusive qualities that define the happiest, most in-demand, and best social dancers (hint: it's not extensive training or the ability to execute complicated steps). 

If I ever am in a position to teach social dance again, I think this treatise shall be required reading prior to the first lesson.  Delightful!

the final frontier

If you had one room to live in, what would it look like?

I don't claim to know what mine would be yet, but it's a useful thought experiment to keep in mind as I continue along my decluttering journey.  There are many benefits to living with less stuff.  Today I want to talk about one in particular, one very near and dear to my heart as a person in possession of two X chromosomes: clothing.

Some of my favorite memories are from traveling.  When I go somewhere, whether it's for a weekend or a month, I'm pretty stubborn about taking as little stuff as possible.  Of course, when I was younger, that was not at all the case.  I recall going to see my extended family over the holidays for about three weeks by myself when I was six or seven (complete with excessively friendly flight attendants and an enormous orange tag around my neck that said who I belonged to) and bringing one of those enormous bags that would probably be over the airlines' weight limit these days. 

What on earth did a six-year-old need with fifty pounds of clothes? 

Granted, at that age I certainly wasn't the one who had to schlep all that around.  That's what grown-ups were for.

This behavior continued for many years thereafter.  In order to go anywhere I seemed to think that I needed absolutely everything that might possibly be useful in any contingency.  Then, of course, if I wanted a particular thing I would have to dive through the huge pile of stuff for several minutes in order to find it.  It was really only a few years ago that I realized the foolishness of this.  It finally dawned on me that if you carry less stuff you become much more mobile, experience less travel frustration, and can even find your stuff when you look for it!  And as yet another bonus, the airlines never get a chance to misplace your things (an unfortunate situation that I've thankfully never had to go through, but I've seen it seriously mess up trips) if you only need a carry-on. 

Now I do things like travel in Europe for two weeks with only an undersize carry-on and a large purse.  I obsessively read packing tips, think for weeks about which outfits to bring to maximize versatility, and drool over nifty travel gadgets.  On our Europe trip last year, Mr. Geek had to put up with me stringing an elastic clothesline across the bathrooms of various bed and breakfasts and washing out clothes in the evenings.  Of course, that was the least of our adventures, but those stories are for another time.

With less stuff it was easy to hop on and off of trains, wander the streets of London (except when his bag's wheel broke... that was a bad day), and fit easily into the sometimes tiny bedrooms at our assorted stopping places.  I also felt like much less conspicuously American, which is a plus when overseas.  I didn't really have to worry about my stuff; aside from the nightly sink laundry, everything pretty much took care of itself.   I didn't even really have to think about what to wear each day, because there just weren't that many options.  Going hiking?  Then it'll be my comfy navy zip-off slacks and my breathable purple top, maybe with the navy cardigan on top in case it gets chilly.  Going out to eat?  Guess I'm wearing my little black dress.  Everything goes with everything else, everything fits perfectly, and everything is the best of its category due to having been so selective in the packing process.

I love clothing, especially in unexpected styles.  I like having a variety of 'looks,' and being able to dress appropriately for any eventuality.  However, there is something about the simplicity of knowing that every single thing available to put on is my favorite, and never having to hunt for anything.  It's interesting that I generally gravitate toward the same items when packing for a trip, but it's not too surprising.  What go with me are things that I love wearing, are in great condition, fit perfectly, and can fit in a myriad of situations.  Starting with the go-to travel pieces would be a terrific way to begin building a well-curated wardrobe in general.  A knee-length black synthetic A-line skirt, for instance, may be the single most versatile piece of clothing I own (unfortunately my best one was recently ruined by a hotel washing machine, so I'm currently scouting for a new one).  It can be dressed up with a sparkly top, thrown over hiking pants to add a layer and a bit of respectability, paired with a button-up for business casual, or worn as a super-comfy bottom when lounging around reading.  Hence, one of those will always have a place in my travel bag.

That says something.  While I'm certainly not going to get rid of all but one of my skirts, it might be a good idea to go through and assign them all a number that quantifies their versatility.  Can it be worn both formally and casually?  Would it work in a business setting?  Is it comfy?  Does it go with the shoes I wear most often?  Do I have multiple tops that pair nicely with it?  It gets one point for each context it works in.   Penalties apply if I haven't worn the thing at least twice in the past year. 

I would propose that about half of my skirts would only score a 1 or a 2 on this scale.  If I got rid of those, I would have more space on my skirt shelf and be able to see the ones I *do* want to wear more easily. 

I've deteriorated into talking about specifics, like skirts.  Let's back up a little.


Why would one want fewer things?  More stuff is the American Dream, after all!

As a culture, we seem to have a bad habit of extrapolating things inappropriately.  If one pill is good for me, surely taking two of them will be better.  This cookie says 'low-fat' on the package, so I'll be healthier if I eat the whole package.  People need stuff to survive, so more stuff will make me happier.

Studies have shown that material wealth and possessions do, in fact, increase happiness.  That is, if you happen to be desperately poor and lacking in the basic necessities of life.  After a threshold, which turns out to be shockingly low, more possessions have absolutely no effect on happiness.  A third car, a slightly bigger flatscreen TV, or a seventh designer handbag will not make you happy or content.  What does correlate with happiness after that threshold is people.  Relationships.  Social circles.  Having close friends and getting to really connect with them.  Not stuff.

The United States is way up there in term of per-capita affluence, but we're also leading the parade when it comes to depression.  I suspect that the logical fallacy of more stuff == happiness is a big part of the widespread discontent in this country.

Enough.  I want to get off that particular train, stop being a good little consumer, and figure out what actually works for me.  I want to create space in my life to do what I really want to do and to connect with people I love.  I want to be able to pick up and move across the country if an amazingly stellar opportunity crops up, without feeling terrified at the prospect of moving all my crap.   I want the things I own to stop owning me. 

Whether that means having one skirt or ten is yet to be determined.


~~~update~~~
This turned up on my RSS feed this afternoon.  Beautiful stuff.